Let your son have his own experience with your ex.
I have experienced the same things as you have but I have a difficult time believing they were all emotionally unavailable.
If we want to put all the emphasis on either one of them, we will get a society that is out of balance.
With intelligence and no socialization they'll be too dangerous to have around.
Oh, and feel free to use this argument on Jim Bezier.
You sound quite even-handed in your explanation of what is important to you.
Such an icky, scary, panicked feeling, and it just takes me back to my childhood where I was often beaten down with condemnation, shame and feelings of never being good enough.
With the first narcissistic abuse experience I was so deluded into believing I still loved him, and we were truly meant to be together.